tomorrow will be the 6 month anniversary of bryce's passing. i still have a have a hard time saying that he's dead. time has not made it easy or better. i don't know if i'm not taking the right steps or thinking the right thoughts. i tought i was, but i'm so sad and sick to my stomach it's killing me. everyday i find it harder and harder to put on a happy face for laine and brycer. i let them see me cry and let them know why. i want them to know it's ok to be sad and cry. how can God put ppl thru this? i've tried to keep my faith, but i think i given up. it hasn't brought me any comfort or peace. as i sit here crying my eyes out i struggle to understand why. how much pain does a person have to endure in a lifetime? i must have really f*cked up in my previous lives. i don't want this life, i want to wake up from this nightmare. i want my freaking family back!!!
on another note i've decieded to move to PA when my lease is up in january. my sister is there and i've come to realize the importance of my family the older i get.
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