My outlet

so after trying to write in a notebook i decided to try this. i thought some feedback would help me feel better. since i wrote my first post i've thought about sitting back down and writing 50 more things. then i decided that i needed to save some of it for future posts.

right now the only song i care to listen to is Glitter in the Air by P!ink. oh and bad romance by lady gaga b/c laine and brycer love to sing it. she says so many things that hit home, and the music, and the performance at the the grammies. WOW!! it was love at first hearing. there are so many feelings and thoughts going thru my mind. i'm not sure how often i'll post on here, i'm sure it will come in spurts. my emotions are like waves, nice and calm for so long then all of a sudden a hurricane hits.

i'm pretty upset right now. i was playing with my wedding band and dropped down in the couch and lost it. i don't want to rip it apart finding it so i'll have to wait for my mom to get here and help me. i'm just glad it's not my "real" wedding ring.

emotions are so weird/funny. one minute i'mgreat then i'm screwed for the next few days. i don't get it, doubt i ever will. i'll never understand why he's gone, therefore i'll never be at peace with it. people want me to "talk" to them. that really drives me crazy, my freaking husband is dead, how the f*ck do you think i feel? how in the f*ck do you think that effects the rest of my life? my prince charming rescued me, promised me he would never go anywhere and we would grow old and cute together. he gets to be forever young, so not fair!! lol plus he said i could go first.

bryce you saved me, you swooped down and got me out of such a bad place. maybe that was all you were suppose to do. i love you sooooooo much, i wish i had more time to show/prove it to you.

this song makes me think of you and i listen to it often


When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face
I can't replace

And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
Ill be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Its ok, Its ok, Its ok

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cause you're my
You're my
My true love
My whole heart
Please don't throw that away

Cause I'm here, for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay...

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know Ill be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
(repeat)


i love you